Well, it’s taken me a few days, but I’ve finally gotten my panties unbunched. I’ve not yet solidified my path toward completion of my novel, but I have a better sense of direction.
Eliminating the one character was the right call; I need to put that energy into another. It felt awful, but it was necessary.
I think I hit a ‘perfect storm’: my diet (which has slipped because I’m trying to put weight on), too little sunlight, and the dramatic change in my story. My body and brain were both out of whack at the same time. (What else is new?)
So, I’m glad to have that little melt-down behind me.
I know I’m not unique in this experience. Writing is such an emotional investment. When things aren’t working, it makes you feel like a blithering idiot; like you’ll never figure any of it out. It is all-consuming.
However, my melt-down did have an upside. Well, two upsides. First, the emotional energy spawned an idea for a new short story.
If you’d like to check it out, here’s the link: Barnburner
Second, I shared my frustrations with a colleague, and she forwarded an e-mail she had drafted to me sometime before but ‘was too chicken’ to send. It was a request to partner with her on method studies to develop our craft. We’re going to start with The Snowflake Method and go from there. It’s funny – she might never have sent that e-mail if I hadn’t reached out…if I hadn’t melted down in the first place.
Life is funny that way. That’s why I write.