Soft Focus

When you’ve spent 20 years together, it becomes all too easy to take your spouse for granted. And I don’t mean to imply intention; just that familiarity allows for behavior you’d consider impolite in other settings, (for example, multi-tasking while your spouse is talking to you). This lack of focus bleeds into everything else. You’re so accustomed to their presence, you don’t always expend the effort to be fully present with them.

Through my recent experiences with polyamory, it’s become clear to me I’ve allowed this to happen in my marriage. Even though I attest to the strength and excellent health of our marriage, especially in light of how it’s been tested, I now see I still take my husband for granted. Since I’ve made this realization and am becoming more mindful when we spend time together, our relationship has gone from pretty damn amazing to fucking fantastic. Figuratively and literally.

I’ve rediscovered our capacity to have fun with each other, in and out of the bedroom. (I’m even getting into the idea of a little cosplay – hello, naughty nurse – which despite our background in kink, I’ve never explored).

I’m excited about finding new ways to explore intimacy (like learning rope bondage) and incorporating it into our play. And I feel even more passionate about helping Amy emerge and grow, to help her discover the woman she is, and support her journey.

There is a renewed heat and intensity between us, and it leaves me feeling vibrant, young, and spontaneous. I’m getting reacquainted with the man I fell in love with, and I’m falling in love with him all over again.

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