The Drop

“Drop” is a term commonly used in the context of BDSM. Specifically, when a person has participated in a particularly intense physical or psychological scene that triggered their body to produce higher-than-normal levels of feel-good chemicals like Dopamine, Norepinephrin, and Oxytocin (among many others). People who experience this sort of full-body high also experience a “crash” when those levels return to normal. The symptoms of drop can vary, but many resemble depression: fatigue, carb cravings, irritability, sadness, tearfulness, forgetfulness, clumsiness, inability to concentrate…to name only a few.

Don’t ask me why, but I hadn’t given much thought to the possibility that feeling “up” from a lot of hot sex and pampering could cause the same phenomenon. Silly me.

My day started as it normally does – I was feeling fine, had my requisite two mugs of coffee and my bagel. Threw in a load of laundry. Cleaned the litter boxes, etc.

As I was getting dressed, I noticed that my bra was fitting loose…in the cups. I grumbled a bit, but I wasn’t upset. (About six months ago I was a 34D, and three months ago I had to go down to a 34C…exercise never takes the extra off where you want it to). Well, the 34C I put on this morning was way too big. So, I figured I’d do a little shopping. No big deal.

I went to Victoria’s Secret and had an associate measure me: 32B/C. Seriously? I felt tears threaten to well up in my eyes, and a sudden burn of frustration in my chest. Bras are not cheap…and the size difference is significant enough that I need to replace most of what I own. But, tears? What is up with that? This is not something I would cry over….ohhhhh, wait. I had that really amazing weekend that had me feeling like I was walking on clouds. And right now, I am irritable, on edge, and I’m starting to worry I might come a little unhinged if someone looks at me the wrong way.

I’m dropping.

Time to do some self-care; make sure I eat well the next few days…fruits, veggies and lean protein, get enough sleep, take some B vitamins, and allow myself a scoop of chocolate ice cream after dinner, guilt-free. Just as important, I need to talk to my husband and lovers; first just so they’re aware, and second, to ask for any emotional support I require, even if it’s as simple as a really big hug.

Chin up, girl. Tomorrow is another day.

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