With all the adult dating sites that are out there, one might think I’d have come across a solid match within the first few weeks. If I was only looking for NSA (No Strings Attached) encounters, there would be no shortage of candidates. But, being a very sexual person who is also very selective, is a bit of a challenge.
I have a profile on three sites, each of which caters to a slightly different segment of the ‘seeking others’ population. The profile stipulates the same criteria in all three places. Regardless of which site my profile is accessed, however, the responses I receive fall largely into one of three categories:
- Men who envision having sex with me in front of my husband just for the sake of it being ‘hot’ if someone is watching
- Men who insist that they’d be a perfect match for me, and could satisfy all my sexual desires – just not if it involves my husband
- Men who ask, ‘why don’t you divorce him?’
After sifting through an inbox full of these gems, the appeal of a dildo as a dating alternative increases exponentially. So, it’s enormously refreshing on those occasions when I encounter men who I can actually converse with, and who – at the very least – are open-minded toward the cuckold dynamic.
I recently went on a first date with a gentleman I met through OKCupid. He and his wife have been married as long as we have, and have maintained an open marriage for the past dozen years. Both he and his wife have two relationships outside their marriage. Like us, they are committed to one another first and foremost.
From the start, my date and I seemed to have a lot in common. And so, we talked…about family, dating and marriage, kids, career, writing, open relationships, and a number of other things. For three hours, we talked. And it felt easy and natural, like being with an old friend. It certainly didn’t hurt that he’s very attractive; fit and youthful for his mid-40s. But in so many ways the physical is icing on the cake. I feel attracted to his personality, and to his mind. It’s hard to explain how reassuring this is; even if he and I don’t work out, I know that finding the right long-term partner is just a matter of time.
At the end of our date, we parted with a hug, and I found that immensely satisfying. Perhaps this will grow into a more intimate relationship, and perhaps it won’t. I’d definitely enjoy getting to know him better, but I also feel very content at having spent a lovely few hours in the company of an attractive and interesting man.
When it comes right down to it, I guess the dating game isn’t all that bad.